A big day

Ni hoa!

So sorry its taken so long to update this here… life, to say the least, have been extremely busy, exhausting (emotionally and physically) but happy too!

We arrived in Beijing on Fri night very late. We left Nanning at 3:00 for the airport and finally made it to the hotel just after midnight! Our flight was delayed in Nanning and then there was a mix-up at the airport and no one was there to meet us from our agency. Well, we waited and looked for about 30 mins, then arranged for a drive from the Hotel and Reservation Desk to our hotel. We had 2 very tired kids, and two VERY tired adults, but all in all they both did great.

Robin and I have said over and over what a little trooper JuanJuan is. She must have been quite nervous and scared on the plane as it was her first time being on one. She held the armrests practically for the whole flight and barely said a word, just looked around with her big eyes. But no tears. We were worried about her ears popping on take off and landing and I have candy and water to try to get her to swallow, which she completely refused, but she did fine.

Everyday so far has been completely packed with sightseeing trips or appointments. We are now finally getting up at a normal hour (6-7 am… it was 2-4am!!). I left everyone asleep in the hotel room to come down and write this because I know you must all be wondering what is going on with all of us!

Quickly, in Nanning we saw an active Buddhist Temple and Josh was blessed by one of the monks. That was very cool. JuanJuan refused to be blessed, so we didn’t push it. When we went into the different little temples, she knelt and started to kinda pray. Our Nanning guide Michael, who is Buddhist, said it seems that her foster parents may have also been Buddhist since she seems to know what to do at a temple.

We also saw a museum of the “old fashioned” life of the majority of Native Zhung people in the Guanxi province. (the province we were visiting when in Nanning). We also spent the morning at a children’s amusement park as well, with little roller coasters, bumper cars, paddle boats, etc. JuanJuan would only go on the carousel, but she enjoyed watching Josh and Daddy on the other rides.

Today we had a HUGE day.. we left at 8:30am and got back after 5:00pm. First we went to a jade factory and saw how they made the jade carvings and jewelry etc. We bought a jade pendant for each of them as a keepsake. Then we went to the Great Wall!!! Holy crow. I am still pinching myself… we walked the Great Wall of China!! It was AMAZING!!! The views of the mountains were so beautiful!! But man it was VERY VERY windy.. at times it almost blew us over and was hard to breathe. The part we were walking on was very recently built, in the Ming Dynasty, so was only 600-700 yrs old. Josh thought it was just the best thing in the world to see.

After the Great Wall we went for lunch at a fantastic restaurant (Chinese of course!) and then toured a Cloisonné factory. Of course at the end was a huge shop to buy lots of wonderful things!! But we’d forgotten Robin’s wallet at the hotel and had spent all the Yuan we’d brought at the Jade factory. I’m sure we will live.

On the way home we drove past the Olympic Village and saw the Birds Nest and Water Cube. Very Cool! OH – at the Great Wall we also saw where the Bicycle Marathon finished. Our bus drove over the finish line which is still on the road… all around us were mountains and the Great Wall snaking along the top of them on the right.. I wish we could have stopped to take photos.

Tomorrow we have the morning off, phew! We are looking forward to having a nice sleep in. At one, we will be going to see the Summer Palace. The next day we are going to Tiananmen Square and The Forbidden City.

OK, now for the other subject you want to know! How JuanJuan is doing.

She is slowing coming out of her shell. Today was the best/worst day so far. I’m so glad we’ve read and talk to so many people who have adopted older children from China from orphanages and foster homes. It has helped sooo much in understanding her behaviour. For example, it is very common for children who have been deprived or adopted internationally to start to horde things, especially food. Well, she’s decided ALL the drinking boxes are hers and keeps them in the bedside table. We don’t leave anywhere without a few in her backpack. When we get home to Canada , we will make sure she has some in her room, to make her feel secure. Even though she was with her foster family since she was 11 months, when she started school, she may have been living at the SWI (orphanage) during the week and going back on weekends. This is very common…. It is also a very common reaction to dealing with the stress and trauma of leaving her foster family, and then being dragged around a million places everyday and not having a set schedule! We can’t wait to get home and have a SCHEDULE!!

Today was also a BIG grieving day. She started grieving on the second/third day (it’s a blur now), and every day the grieving has become more intense. We were relieved when we first saw her tears because we didn’t want her to keep it all in. Thank GOD her Foster mom sent some photos of her from a baby to now, plus one of JunaJuan and her Foster Baba and one of her and her foster mama. She holds them tight to her chest while she is crying and screaming for her Mama and Baba, and we learned not to leave without them just in case. It rips our hearts out to see her so upset. You never know when it will start either. Today she was excited to be on the bus and then as soon as we got off she started crying. Then when we got to the Great Wall and started walking along it she got very upset again. Robin and Josh had gone ahead. I asked her if she wanted to go back to the Café and she said No. She kept asking “Joshy he DiDia na-li” where they were (she calls Robin Didia, she has trouble saying Daddy… we decided after the first big grieving session where it was better for her to call us Mommy and Daddy, her Mama and Baba are her foster parents). So we caught up with them, but all the way back down, terrible cold wind in our faces (and she REFUSED mittens or scarf!) she cried and cried. We finally get to the Café where we were meeting everyone, and she was fine… laughing and playing HIDE and SEEK with us (she’s learned these words from our Mandarin Dora video we bought, and she jumps up and shouts HIDE and SEEK very loud and excitedly when we play). We left the café and suddenly the screaming and crying started again. Poor little thing. We just held her and soothed her, while at least 10 people stared at us. We get a lot of attention here, being white with a little Chinese girl.

She has strongly attached to me, but hasn’t attached as much to Robin YET, its coming every day… again, very textbook normal.. most kids attach first to one parent before the other. But, she won’t let me out of her sight for one second! (also very normal). She often lets Robin do things for her though, but not always… sometimes his attempts are met with a very loud string of some sort of telling off and a swatting away of his hand! Today though, after the episodes, I was sure I’d be sitting beside her again on the bus, but Robin sat beside her while I went to get something and she didn’t protest.. so I didn’t return. She let him stay the whole way back from the Olympic Village! She even let him cuddle her while she slept on her arm! We had tried in the morning to have him sit beside her and she very vocally had refused and started crying “MOMMY!!!!” So that was a great breakthrough today.

Back at the hotel we had another big grieving episode, and she again let Robin hold her. Then she was ready to PLAY! We played in the bath for a very long time, and played while getting dressed too. She was the happiest and funniest little girl again (which she usually is) with a supper big grin and infectious laugh!

So it comes and goes in cycles. I am always there, but Daddy can sometimes do things… not always. He isn’t even allowed to hold her hand, unless she is also holding mine, and then it’s not all the time.

OH – at the Cloisonné gift shop today her and Daddy also had a great time playing (I left them alone as much as possible). She kinda regressed to a baby a bit, was crawling around the floor laughing and letting Daddy carry her like a baby. We teased her that she was “Baby JuanJuan” and Robin rocked her back and forth and she laughed and laughed. That is also a very normal reaction, to regress and have us do things for her like a baby. She needs to learn that we are there for her and she can trust us. She still wont let us hug her.. when we try she is very stiff. This is also very very normal and will come over time. She lets us rub her back though and get close, so that is good. Some kids don’t even let you do that at first.

While she is technically almost 5, emotionally and “mentally” she is about 3, maybe almost 4. Not for all things (she knows her numbers and is extremely smart. She figured out the digital camera and DVD player in minutes) plus she does everything for herself, opening all packages, serving herself food, she’s even order the food she wanted in a restaurant! But for other things she is much younger. This again we expected, so it’s not a surprise to us. It will come, and it is a normal reaction.

SO… all in all a very big day! I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Time for bed! Dava qu shuijiao!